Hello friends! Sorry for not keeping up with things. I've learned that this re-entry stuff is a little more difficult than I had anticipated. Its hard to believe I've been home for a week now. It seems so long yet just yesterday that we were with our friends in Malawi. I've loved being near the girls again, but adjusting to that has even been difficult. I must say it was nice only being responsible for myself while we were gone! Gloria has taken some anger out on me the past week. I know it was hard on her for us to be away, but its hard to patiently take the punishment while she works through her feelings! At least it has been 24 hours since she has found a reason to call me a "bad girl". I notice with each episode of quality time she and I spend her attitude improves a bit.
I have been surprised at my lack of eagerness to tell anyone and everyone about our experience. I guess I feel like there is just no way most people can understand. I know that is not fair to not even give those who care a chance to hear. Its also hard to put it into words without taking up 2 hours of someone's time! I loved how simple everything was while we were in Malawi. We got up, ate what was served, went and did our designated work for the day and went to bed. Really no drama or decisions and only the basic expectation to be available to how God wanted to use us. How can I bring that world here? So many decisions and tasks and responsibilities, how do I simplify them? Although certain things about life are obvious blessings, they don't always feel that way. Isn't that what they say about having a lot of money? I guess compared to much of the Malawi world, I have some of those same issues. Ha! It seems funny to even write that knowing how "lacking" most of our current society would view us. I will say that I did not return hating America. Although there are many imperfections about this land, there is a lot of good. Seeing the conditions in Malawi showed how bad things can really get for people when certain programs and infrastructures are not in place. This land has a lot of great programs we take forgranted that do a lot of good.
On top of all these thoughts and musings, I had been putting off certain decisions until after our trip hoping that my time there would 'reveal all' to me and my decisions would be easy to make upon my return. I think I came home with more questions than answers. So, where I stand right now is that: I don't know if I want to work at all and if I do, what I want to do for work; where do I want the kids to be going to school if at all; what Eddie's next steps in his career should be; and where my church/ministry home base should be. So if you have been ordained to answer any of these, I'm open to suggestions!
I think thats enough for now. I hope this doesn't come across as depressing. In a way, its like I'm overwhelmed with many wonderful opportunities and blessings and just trying to figure out how to best make use of them. Not a bad problem to have! Thanks again to all who supported our trip. I never once thought it was a mistake, God clearly wanted us there and we are grateful for the experience!
